Has Your Relationship Hit The Fork
Yes you read right I said fork. If you have ever been in a long term relationship you know there are many hills to climb and there are high times and low times. Then there is a time when you hit a fork in the road where you have to decide to turn towards make it or break it in the relationship with your partner. This usually happens around the 2 ½ yrs. Into the relationship
Dr. Barbara Whitehead from the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. Says many previously happy couples reach a fork in the road at that point. You’re comfortable together, but emotionally, you’re in a “blah” phase.
- Think about it this way: 2 and a half years into college you’ve decided on a major. By 2 and a half years on a job, it’s time to ask for a promotion. So after 2 and a half years of dating, you should know if it’s time to move up to marriage or move on, right?
- But it’s not just an emotional plateau that you reach at that point, you also go through a chemical change. You brain produces chemicals that create that passionately-in-love buzz for a maximum of 30 months, or 2 and a half years. After that time, the chemicals level off and your bond depends more on trust and great communication than romance.
So, if you’re relationship has hit that fork, here’s what to do according to Dr. John Tamerin, a clinical psychiatrist from Cornell University.
First, know that every relationship is unique, so don’t torture yourself if you’re not on the right “timeline”. Think of it this way, how long do you stay in an apartment before you buy a house? You stay until you’re ready. So don’t feel pressured to go from dating to marriage if you’re not ready.
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